Sadness, depression, and everything in between

Well I was a month late had one of four tests positive. And then I start heavy. I have this huge emotional roller coaster that one minute I think I will be fine with enough positive thinking and bam back down in the blues and crying like a crazy lady. I think my body rejected it and gave me a big fat miscarriage instead of another precious child for Christmas. BAH HUM BUG! I am very thankful for the one I have but I feel unfulfilled with just having one I feel Its unjust to just have one and have him grow up alone. He needs a sibling. I'm to heartbroken and miserable to even finish this